I Don't Understand Women ...

I don't understand what women see in a man. I have failed, all my life, to understand through a woman's eyes how she sees and what she sees in men to whom she is attracted. I certainly have been interested to know. When I was single, I wanted to be attractive to the opposite sex, but could never figure out what was attractive to them. Things just happened.

This profound stupidity and thickness on my part came home me again yesterday. Walking Bear in the evening, I met my friend, B_. We had our usual, pleasant, teasing, thoughtful conversation over the fence, while her two little dogs, Princess and Timmy, barked at Bear and generally protected their mistress. There was a sad moment in the conversation about B_'s family. I think it was that moment that later prompted me to some light-hearted banter. I asked, well, what do you think about Britney's pregnancy? B_ laughed without replying. I can't imagine what she sees in Justin Timberlake, I said, developing my theme. He doesn't have a brain in his head.

This comment produced nearly hysterical laughter from B_. You think Britney cares about his brain, she asked. Have you looked at his body?

Oh, I have reported that query incorrectly. B_ asked, have you looked at his B-O-D-Y?, virtually screaming in my deaf ears.

I allowed as how I had not. Just as I have been unable to discern that Timberlake has a brain, I have not noticed that he has a body. B_ was on a roll, here, however. She would not let me off the hook.

Do you think Britney CARES whether he has a brain? No. She just tells him what to do with his body. That's ALL that matters.

That silenced me. The whole scenario - Britney having sex with Timberlake, directing his body to do this and do that - had never occurred to me. I am so old that it never occurred  to me, either, even to think of Britney doing anything with MY body.

That also stopped the conversation. B_ was so distracted with laughter that she couldn't talk any more. I thought it was funny, too; I mean my being so stupid about such things.

I forgot to ask B_ if she knew that Britney and Timberlake are going to have a reality TV series. A camera following them around for days. In the pregnancy, I guess. I decided that B_ needed a rest from my sense of humor. I continued my walk with Bear.