[Hesitant Activist, Wounded]
In the spring 1968, my political consciousness was higher than it has ever been and I was politically more active than at any other time: I participated in a few political rallies in Ithaca, and spent a day organizing for Eugene McCarthy in the Pennsylvania Primary. The murders of Martin Luther King and Robert R. Kennedy Jr had a profound, cumulative impact on me.
After the "children's crusade" in New Hampshire and McCarthy's successful showing against Johnson and against the War, a number of graduate students at Cornell became interested in participating in the nearby Pennsylvania primary. The New York Times carried a number of feature articles describing in great detail how the New Hampshire campaign was organized--the preliminary polling, registration lists, ranking of attitudes, etc. We read these articles avidly and prepared to assault middle Pennsylvania.
I cannot recall who organized our effort to organize a McCarthy campaign. Included in the group that made the first mid-week trip, visiting a few college campuses and towns, were--besides me--Jim Chapin and J_ L_. Jim ended up taking all this most seriously and eventually spent a month in Harrisburg (?) organizing for McCarthy. I was not terribly active within this group; I refused to make an extended commitment that might take me away from my thesis.
In addition, I was, in my heart of hearts, an advocate of Bobby Kennedy, who did not enter the Pennsylvania Primary. Although I was concerned about Bobby's reputation for "ruthlessness," I thought that only he, among the anti-war spokesmen, had a real possibility of being elected. Hence, I participated in the McCarthy campaign with the rationale that McCarthy was a stalking-horse for Kennedy--a charge that was in fact made against his campaign and his viability as a candidate.
We travelled to several small colleges where we met with some faculty and students. Our goal was to divide-up central Pennsylvania among them for them to organize for McCarthy. While we generally met a receptive audience, we occasionally also met some resentment that "Cornell" was telling them what to do.
The murders of King and Kennedy shattered my emotional commitment to politics. I was at home, listening to the radio, when I heard the news bulletin of King's murder. I almost fainted. I felt weak and dizzy. I started to cry. Within a few minutes, our apartment doorbell rang. Two old friends, who had left Ithaca and just returned for a visit, had dropped by. Although we all sat on the sofa and talked, I was too upset to carry on much of a conversation and they soon left. (I cannot recall who there were.)
Naturally, I followed the Kennedy campaign with great attention. I sat up watching the California Primary results in June, when Kennedy was murdered. His murder broke my heart. I wept disconsolately. The following morning, when I went into the bathroom to clean up and to shave, I looked in the mirror and was shocked by the grief visible in my face. I could not face myself. I did not shave. I let my beard grow, and kept the beard for seven years, not shaving it off until August 1975, when I was in London.
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Politics Is A Window
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